lactose intolerance

ten things i love about being in america (albeit temporarily)
10) PEOPLE HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME
9) people wait for me to cross the street instead of treating me as a moving target
8) milk. and cheese. and ice cream.
7) the einstein's bagel guy
6) my dog charlie looks like a meathead bodybuilder. big body. tiny head.
5) non-fat no whip soy milk mocha frappa whatever. i have no clue what these people are talking about. but its pretty
4) CELL PHONES that dial people in america
3) televangelists
2) ohhh lactose intolerance