WE ARE THE HAPPIEST GIRLS IN THE T-HOUSE!
This morning Becky Boxes, Peter Pan Cozad and I made the executive decision to take a mental health day and stay in Maseru, even though we were supposed to head back to our respective homes so we can get back to the wonderful world of working in Lesotho. Lying in the bliss of our bunkbeds, making innappropriatly early text messages, Becky Boxes made the wise exclamation that, since she had a sheet, two blankets, and a sweatshirt on that she was "the warmest girl in the t-house!"
So. Yes. Today we are the happiest girls in Lesotho. We got to head into a border South Africa town for a little civilization lovin fun, complete with watching some innapropriate Boer family putting their naked baby in a bird bath and taking Anne Gedes snapshots of the winy little yeasty. The baby kept trying to crawl out but they kept shoving it back in the fountain. I laughed, I cried, I cursed Anne Gedes eternal soul into the river Styx... like the band. All in all it was a blissfull day. My stomach is still whistling dixie with the glories of a sandwich I like to call the Wheezy and Boxes Special Surprise which includes a combination of the following: bread and butter pickles, honey mustard dressing, strawberry jam, feta cheese, feta cheese flavored pringles, spinach, and a dash of love.
Its amazing. Kind of like a movie theatre.
Did I mention that I have a cross-eyed cat named Ringo? He is a terrorist. He sleeps in my sleeping bag with me, and a recent discovery is that hes emparted on me some hungry flesh loving friends known as fleas. Fugde crackers. I feed him oatmeal and he eats like a banchee. I originally got him to violently murder the terrorist mice that ate my thermals and brutally masacred Rhett Butler to make their nest, but I am thinking that having a cross eyed cat might be worse than having holes in all my clothes.
I dont know.
I head back home tomorow morning, and in less than TWO WEEKS kaitlyn and dr. john will be here. i CANNOT wait. But i will wait.
Ten Things to Quicken the Heart.
10) Unopen wedding presents almost stolen by Wheezy, Boxes, and Peter Pan
9) Being the warmest girl in the t house
8) Heads
7) Naked babies in fountains with garland in their hair
6) Seeing a springbock in the wild with the ambassadors possee and Bexxxy making the comment "oh yeah... we see those all the time. On menu's in South Africa."
5) Ninja Baths
4) Thaba Tseka pickle parties
3) Impending Empire Records bliss
2) Social Terrorism aka Victoria pretty much every night we go out
1) RICH AND NANCY CARLSON
LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL.
ardently.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Stay Warm, Stay Safe, Stay Dry
" I go through all this before you wake up, so i can be happier, to be safe with you again."
If you all dont have a Ben Shazby, i heavily suggest that you Craigslist.com for one. He is the tallest of the Yeti's the sturdiest of the mountains, the most lovely soul that you could imagine from a man who actually looks better in a mumu and glitter than all females of the female kind.
Find him on facebook. Love him.
The weeks leading up to the past two weeks, i cheated myself out of all the strength that i have accumulated through my 22 years of life. it is pitiful the credit i gave myself. i went through a two week crying binge, where i could feel my ears, eyes, and altogether well being being dehydrated from my salty exports. Its a lonely place, the land of tears. I just let myself cry because i just couldnt find my strength. i knew that i had used it uarlier, i knew that i had it somewhere, but i just COULDNT FIND IT. it felt like i had put it in storage, to be used for a later date. and i was relying on the strength and comfort of another to bulid up my ability to leave, breath and function. i remember a low point where i actually asked someone to make me happy. and then, overnight, i felt a wave of relief. instead of the impending abyss that i was expecting, i found my strenght. and it was easer than i ever could have imagined. my job is still trying, i am freexing my extremeties off in my roundavel, i go through days where i have no clue if i am wasting my time here, but i am doing it. and i dont have to convince myself that this strenght is a facade, because i know that it runs deep throughout my body.
so yes, i am good. i had a realization the other night about a week ago, after i had come home and made a complete mess of my roundavel from a pancake explosion, that no one was going to come help me clean up my mess. it was my mess. i was alone. it is my responsability to take care of myself. and that was terrifying. isnt complete liberty terrifying in some fundamental way? Yes. i just prayed out of loud that someone would feel my desperation and feel that i needed someone. But no one came, of course. So i am realizing more and more that i am on my own more than i ever thought possible. But then i realize how much i still rely on the beep of my text messages, the calls i breathe in deeply from my satelite phone, and the packages and cards and letters that you all send. and i know i am not alone.
Yesterday the ambassador came up to Thaba Tseka and Rebecca and i took him and his possee to a real live Basotho restaurant, and it was so interesting to see their reactions to what has become so natural so us. Rebecca is a living dream, ps. She has a love for people that i cant even fathom. And on a particular topic, she is objective, and i let my own wandering and catatonic mind fill in the blanks. But she is strong.
I feel like I have so much more to say, and i probably do. School has its ups and downs, we did a workshop last saturday and 30 teachers showed up, which was amazing, and we went over the Ministry math and science kits which they neglect to actually use in their classrooms. And monday, one of my teachers tried and experiment with her class and the way their faces lit up when they saw that the daily actiivities did not include copying notes all day was worth every second of trial that i let creep into my mind.
I miss you all. I miss Katherine's hair when we dance. I miss that Sarah got married. I miss laughing at everything with TWONGS, and admiring Natalie's every movement. I miss Athens.
I never really think about anything concrete in America that i miss. But every other day, i feel a particular breeze in Thaba Tseka that reminds my of a day that mom and i were in Highland Park going into Starbucks, or when Ryan and I went to terrorize manatees. Or a day i was landscaping and oogling Eli in Saranac. I've reached the age where i have memories far back in my mind that dont even feel real anymore. But when i realize they are real i sing halleluah amen for the people that have made my life a living dream.
Ten Things that quicken my heart
10. kisses on the forehead
9. twirling children and tickling them mercilesslely
8. finding life when you thought it was barren
7. my mom's taste in scarves
6. my sister katie
5. the mountains at dusk. aura: purple.
4. the hop before the cartwheel.
3. falling on your back after an incredible handstand
2. waking up next to becky boxes and singing her the good morning song and then relaying our dreams to each other
1. talking to katherine kennedy on the phone and feeling all the pain and stress in my body float towards the clouds.
love you all.
If you all dont have a Ben Shazby, i heavily suggest that you Craigslist.com for one. He is the tallest of the Yeti's the sturdiest of the mountains, the most lovely soul that you could imagine from a man who actually looks better in a mumu and glitter than all females of the female kind.
Find him on facebook. Love him.
The weeks leading up to the past two weeks, i cheated myself out of all the strength that i have accumulated through my 22 years of life. it is pitiful the credit i gave myself. i went through a two week crying binge, where i could feel my ears, eyes, and altogether well being being dehydrated from my salty exports. Its a lonely place, the land of tears. I just let myself cry because i just couldnt find my strength. i knew that i had used it uarlier, i knew that i had it somewhere, but i just COULDNT FIND IT. it felt like i had put it in storage, to be used for a later date. and i was relying on the strength and comfort of another to bulid up my ability to leave, breath and function. i remember a low point where i actually asked someone to make me happy. and then, overnight, i felt a wave of relief. instead of the impending abyss that i was expecting, i found my strenght. and it was easer than i ever could have imagined. my job is still trying, i am freexing my extremeties off in my roundavel, i go through days where i have no clue if i am wasting my time here, but i am doing it. and i dont have to convince myself that this strenght is a facade, because i know that it runs deep throughout my body.
so yes, i am good. i had a realization the other night about a week ago, after i had come home and made a complete mess of my roundavel from a pancake explosion, that no one was going to come help me clean up my mess. it was my mess. i was alone. it is my responsability to take care of myself. and that was terrifying. isnt complete liberty terrifying in some fundamental way? Yes. i just prayed out of loud that someone would feel my desperation and feel that i needed someone. But no one came, of course. So i am realizing more and more that i am on my own more than i ever thought possible. But then i realize how much i still rely on the beep of my text messages, the calls i breathe in deeply from my satelite phone, and the packages and cards and letters that you all send. and i know i am not alone.
Yesterday the ambassador came up to Thaba Tseka and Rebecca and i took him and his possee to a real live Basotho restaurant, and it was so interesting to see their reactions to what has become so natural so us. Rebecca is a living dream, ps. She has a love for people that i cant even fathom. And on a particular topic, she is objective, and i let my own wandering and catatonic mind fill in the blanks. But she is strong.
I feel like I have so much more to say, and i probably do. School has its ups and downs, we did a workshop last saturday and 30 teachers showed up, which was amazing, and we went over the Ministry math and science kits which they neglect to actually use in their classrooms. And monday, one of my teachers tried and experiment with her class and the way their faces lit up when they saw that the daily actiivities did not include copying notes all day was worth every second of trial that i let creep into my mind.
I miss you all. I miss Katherine's hair when we dance. I miss that Sarah got married. I miss laughing at everything with TWONGS, and admiring Natalie's every movement. I miss Athens.
I never really think about anything concrete in America that i miss. But every other day, i feel a particular breeze in Thaba Tseka that reminds my of a day that mom and i were in Highland Park going into Starbucks, or when Ryan and I went to terrorize manatees. Or a day i was landscaping and oogling Eli in Saranac. I've reached the age where i have memories far back in my mind that dont even feel real anymore. But when i realize they are real i sing halleluah amen for the people that have made my life a living dream.
Ten Things that quicken my heart
10. kisses on the forehead
9. twirling children and tickling them mercilesslely
8. finding life when you thought it was barren
7. my mom's taste in scarves
6. my sister katie
5. the mountains at dusk. aura: purple.
4. the hop before the cartwheel.
3. falling on your back after an incredible handstand
2. waking up next to becky boxes and singing her the good morning song and then relaying our dreams to each other
1. talking to katherine kennedy on the phone and feeling all the pain and stress in my body float towards the clouds.
love you all.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
How Can We Bear It?
"What is it? My dear?"
"Ah, how can we bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"
"We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only thebeginning - that we have all the time in the world.""And every day we shall have less. And then none."
"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"
"No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began.And when I go away from here,this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and fromwhich everything will run. But now, my love,we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."
a.s bryatt
Ten Things To Quicken the Heart
10) madeline cozad's voice
9) sunshine on bare legs
8) sensitive souls
7) Tab
6) twirling
5) meg ryan before the plastic surgery
4) sitting on a tire swing and eating bread and butter pickles
3) Juno soundtrack
2)"im not cool... i actually try really hard."
1) passing notes during class over the age of 16
and one more...
fireflies.
http://snoreandguzzle.com/?p=37 is amazing. there are literally thousands of things that quicken my heart. i head back to site tomorow and its a mixed bo'me bag of emotions, for a variety of reasons. a lot of things i used to trust in are in macromolecules in the air and i am unsure of my place right now.
but this too shall pass.
i love muppet earrings.
"Ah, how can we bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"
"We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only thebeginning - that we have all the time in the world.""And every day we shall have less. And then none."
"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"
"No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began.And when I go away from here,this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and fromwhich everything will run. But now, my love,we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."
a.s bryatt
Ten Things To Quicken the Heart
10) madeline cozad's voice
9) sunshine on bare legs
8) sensitive souls
7) Tab
6) twirling
5) meg ryan before the plastic surgery
4) sitting on a tire swing and eating bread and butter pickles
3) Juno soundtrack
2)"im not cool... i actually try really hard."
1) passing notes during class over the age of 16
and one more...
fireflies.
http://snoreandguzzle.com/?p=37 is amazing. there are literally thousands of things that quicken my heart. i head back to site tomorow and its a mixed bo'me bag of emotions, for a variety of reasons. a lot of things i used to trust in are in macromolecules in the air and i am unsure of my place right now.
but this too shall pass.
i love muppet earrings.
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