Yeah, i have a lot of freetime on the computer tonight... so i decided to break up my posts. I used to end stories with "and then i started bawling..." Which, while it was rarely ever true that my tear ducts were aware of this situation, it was exaclty how i felt at the time. I rarely ever produced the tears that I alluded to in my stories, but the emotions were there. Now... every story I tell really does end in "and then i started bawling." And its usually the truth. Its like, immediatly upon entering Lesotho my saline count increased, and I am doing my body a favor by setting the little droppers free. So I consider crying my secondary project, because crying is not really culturally appropriate or socially accepted here. So, yes I am doing my part to inform the people of Lesotho that it is okay to cry. I will keep you updated on my tales of triumph on the matter. Its just that every experience here is amplified by 1,000 because we have to deal with things almost entirely on our own. With the whole housing situation that I am going through now, its not as if I could walk next door to Walker's and explain the situation to whatever yahoo i recognized who would sympathize with me over a cup of coffee. I had to sit in the Chiefs house for an hour and a half while they spoke in a mile-a-minute Sesotho about the situation to which i had no idea what was going on. I never really realized how isolated i was until that moment. I am usually amazing at zoning out and just ignoring the situation but i genuinly wanted to know what was going on, and didnt get an explanation until hours later. The good news is that I am getting a ride up with the Country Director tomorow to check out my new house. I REALLY hope it works out. Cross your appendages for me.
Ten Things To Quicken the Heart... other than caffine.
10) Previously painted purple pancakes...perfected.
9) Estrogen
8) Slow rolling tears
7) Unexpected selfless beanie warmth
6) letters from Gramps
5) the fact that Rebecca and I can now communicate via walkie talkie
4) promises of a baobab tree
3) hopeforasolidwinter
2) Screaming at the top of my lungs into a pillow
1) Spontaneous compustion of laughter at the sight of a particular picture.
love you all.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Zut Alors! Someone has sat on my bagel!
If you want i'll send you a postcard... to let you know im here. I 'll be sure to fill it with imagery, and i'll be sure to be sincere.
You know, I was a little apprehensive about starting this whole bloggerific idae because a) it ranks up there with carrying around a mini-mirror in terms of vanity and b) i get no love on this thing. It feels like I am expressing myself into the abyss of cold-hearted technology and it would be nice to get a little e-hug.
So, new conditions with the blog. If you read this bad-boy you MUST under ALL conditions leave me
a) a limerick
b) ten things to quicken the heart
or...
c) it must spur you on to write me an actual letter.
So, even if you are a creepo who is reading this, and I have no clue who you are, you must follow those rules. Because they rule.
So, I am in Maseru again, so quickly after my last visit because I had a meeting in town about this group called Literacy in Lesotho, which basically wants to get books in the hands of kids under the age of three. Its an interesting organization and the meeting really showed the differences in the American culture, who typically hold the belief that any meeting can be conducted within two hours, with concrete results. Well, welcome to Lesotho. Different expectations, different realities. It made it perfectly clear why I am signed on for two years, instead of a quickie, come let me start something and leave. (which is not what this lady is doing... but just for examples sake.) While yes, I am frustrated at my job, yes I dont really feel like I am accomplishing anything, and no I dont really have a focus right now, its nice to have the time to get adjusted. Because if there is one thing I have realized is that it takes me a LONG TIME to get adjusted to new situations... aka college, camp... etc. Well, not Space Camp. I loved Space Camp.
Anyways. Its been a long week. Well... what day is it? Its been a long two weeks. Last week when I got home and got a text message from my principal saying that my family had doubled my rent, and that i should go look at my new house. So I said, ok sure, what more could really change, I will just roll with this one. So some little boy walks me to my new house, which is across the street, and is approximatly half the size, with no real windows for light (when you dont have electricity, windows are a hot commodity), and the door had a lovely view of a cement wall. But I was in no mood to complain, and usually when things are handed to me such as this they tend to work out regardless. So I went into town out of habitual avoidance, and ran into a Canadian volunteer who has been staying in town for the past four months. And he just happened to be leaving this coming Friday so my heart started palpatating (atrocious spelling... go figure) and I rushed over to the primary school where the m'e who owns the house teaches, and pleaded my case. Didn't really need much pleading because I had done a workshop about a month ago that she attended and left an "anonymous" note to us saying "oh, you all are such good girls. Such good girls, oh. Thank you." I was a little nervous because a while back I had a little situation at the bank where they tried to charge me 45 rand because their f'ing machine had eaten my card, and i got a little heated with the teller. After my rant, which was probably amplified by my emotionally explosive nature, I turned around and saw two of my teachers staring at me, and M'e Julia (my future "landlord") laughing. She told me that i was "so strong. wow. you were really strong back there. Man. Strong." So, yeah, i was a little worried that she didnt want a basket case whitey living in her rondavel, but luckily her judgement is a little blurry. So I was so excited about this move, because it opens doors for me to work at other schools, and at the hospital, to have cell phone service, to be able to walk to rebecca's just to say hey, sing her a song, and then go home... so many pro's that i forget the con's. But of course this is Lesotho and I am now officially an adult (when did that happen and can i make it stop) nothing is ever as easy as it seems. So I get the approval of my principal and Peace Corps, and then go to Katse for the weekend to visit Madeline at her new house. All in all, a blissful weekend with a bathtub and 6 episodes of Arrested Development, and lots of spontaneous compustion in the form of guffaws. When I get back home, Caswel (yes kay, your BFF) comes to my house and tells me that my family has been asking why I am crying, and why I am not paying the rent, and if I am going to sneak out without paying the rent, and why the little boy was hiding by the river to take away my things to town... etc. Random thought after random thought. So apparently no one had told my family that I was moving, let alone what the situation was. So, anxiety. Because I was told NOT to tell my family, that my principal would handle it, and that I should move my stuff out little by little as not to alarm my family. Which of course should have raised about 3,000 ruby flags but i was so excited about moving i didnt really think about it. And my family speaks about negative zero english, so i couldnt clarify anything. So i walk into town to talk to my supervisor and she is not there, so one of my teachers helps me, and tells me story after story about how i need to get out of my village immediatly, i need to move to town, ive done the whole "wash your clothes in the river, bucket on the head thing" and its time to move on.
I agree. Long story made really super long, i spent the day en route from principal to the Chief to home, to Becca's to the Chiefs, then back home and still nothing was really resolved. I dont know who to trust anymore because I know my family is amazing but I just cant communicate with them. So automatically I trust the people who speak english which isnt always my best bet.
Zut alors. Someone has sat on my bagel.
You know, I was a little apprehensive about starting this whole bloggerific idae because a) it ranks up there with carrying around a mini-mirror in terms of vanity and b) i get no love on this thing. It feels like I am expressing myself into the abyss of cold-hearted technology and it would be nice to get a little e-hug.
So, new conditions with the blog. If you read this bad-boy you MUST under ALL conditions leave me
a) a limerick
b) ten things to quicken the heart
or...
c) it must spur you on to write me an actual letter.
So, even if you are a creepo who is reading this, and I have no clue who you are, you must follow those rules. Because they rule.
So, I am in Maseru again, so quickly after my last visit because I had a meeting in town about this group called Literacy in Lesotho, which basically wants to get books in the hands of kids under the age of three. Its an interesting organization and the meeting really showed the differences in the American culture, who typically hold the belief that any meeting can be conducted within two hours, with concrete results. Well, welcome to Lesotho. Different expectations, different realities. It made it perfectly clear why I am signed on for two years, instead of a quickie, come let me start something and leave. (which is not what this lady is doing... but just for examples sake.) While yes, I am frustrated at my job, yes I dont really feel like I am accomplishing anything, and no I dont really have a focus right now, its nice to have the time to get adjusted. Because if there is one thing I have realized is that it takes me a LONG TIME to get adjusted to new situations... aka college, camp... etc. Well, not Space Camp. I loved Space Camp.
Anyways. Its been a long week. Well... what day is it? Its been a long two weeks. Last week when I got home and got a text message from my principal saying that my family had doubled my rent, and that i should go look at my new house. So I said, ok sure, what more could really change, I will just roll with this one. So some little boy walks me to my new house, which is across the street, and is approximatly half the size, with no real windows for light (when you dont have electricity, windows are a hot commodity), and the door had a lovely view of a cement wall. But I was in no mood to complain, and usually when things are handed to me such as this they tend to work out regardless. So I went into town out of habitual avoidance, and ran into a Canadian volunteer who has been staying in town for the past four months. And he just happened to be leaving this coming Friday so my heart started palpatating (atrocious spelling... go figure) and I rushed over to the primary school where the m'e who owns the house teaches, and pleaded my case. Didn't really need much pleading because I had done a workshop about a month ago that she attended and left an "anonymous" note to us saying "oh, you all are such good girls. Such good girls, oh. Thank you." I was a little nervous because a while back I had a little situation at the bank where they tried to charge me 45 rand because their f'ing machine had eaten my card, and i got a little heated with the teller. After my rant, which was probably amplified by my emotionally explosive nature, I turned around and saw two of my teachers staring at me, and M'e Julia (my future "landlord") laughing. She told me that i was "so strong. wow. you were really strong back there. Man. Strong." So, yeah, i was a little worried that she didnt want a basket case whitey living in her rondavel, but luckily her judgement is a little blurry. So I was so excited about this move, because it opens doors for me to work at other schools, and at the hospital, to have cell phone service, to be able to walk to rebecca's just to say hey, sing her a song, and then go home... so many pro's that i forget the con's. But of course this is Lesotho and I am now officially an adult (when did that happen and can i make it stop) nothing is ever as easy as it seems. So I get the approval of my principal and Peace Corps, and then go to Katse for the weekend to visit Madeline at her new house. All in all, a blissful weekend with a bathtub and 6 episodes of Arrested Development, and lots of spontaneous compustion in the form of guffaws. When I get back home, Caswel (yes kay, your BFF) comes to my house and tells me that my family has been asking why I am crying, and why I am not paying the rent, and if I am going to sneak out without paying the rent, and why the little boy was hiding by the river to take away my things to town... etc. Random thought after random thought. So apparently no one had told my family that I was moving, let alone what the situation was. So, anxiety. Because I was told NOT to tell my family, that my principal would handle it, and that I should move my stuff out little by little as not to alarm my family. Which of course should have raised about 3,000 ruby flags but i was so excited about moving i didnt really think about it. And my family speaks about negative zero english, so i couldnt clarify anything. So i walk into town to talk to my supervisor and she is not there, so one of my teachers helps me, and tells me story after story about how i need to get out of my village immediatly, i need to move to town, ive done the whole "wash your clothes in the river, bucket on the head thing" and its time to move on.
I agree. Long story made really super long, i spent the day en route from principal to the Chief to home, to Becca's to the Chiefs, then back home and still nothing was really resolved. I dont know who to trust anymore because I know my family is amazing but I just cant communicate with them. So automatically I trust the people who speak english which isnt always my best bet.
Zut alors. Someone has sat on my bagel.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Gogi Berries and Mini Skirts
Oh the land of uncertainty, with scattered puppies and rainbows.
this past week is a blur. an amazing, time warp, alternate reality blur in which i took approxamatly 13 baths, at at lord knows how many all you can eat buffets, took a safari tour that had a "champagne interlude," travelled to the end of the world, swam in the Indian Ocean (partially) clothes, rode on an AIRPLANE, ate ice cream, and was tormented by people who i love. i love kaitlyn and vito bagnato. all in all, it was a magical time warp away from reality. My last vacation I felt guilty about being back in humanity, being a glutton and living frivoulously. This vacation, i swam in frivolity and enjoyed it immensely. I had forgotten how normal it was to live... normally. After I left vito and kay at the airport, i went into Cape Town, bought a minidress i will probably never be able to wear in Lesotho, bought some oversize sunglasses, and walked around town feeling the air on my legs. It was nice to just fit in. Not to be singled out for being white, or being a female, and not getting any odd looks. People asked me for directions, complimented my dress, treated me like a normal human being who belongs in a civilized world. And i soaked it up. I miss cities. I miss the feel of them, the bustle, the activity, the possibility of meeting a new person on every street corner.
I wonder what i am doing here. My heart feels heavy because there has been a change in my existance. A change in who I thought I could trust and who I thought cared about me. And there is so much uncertainty. I want to live and breathe and work and find my balance. But its difficult. My family comes in a month and I cant wait to see them but i just know it will make me want to come home. I wish I could find my place here already.
There is so much to look forward to the next few moths that I know they are going to fly by. But I am ready for something constant. Something (or someone) I know I can rely on. If that is a possibility...
Ok, well. Kaitlyn and Vito: well done.
i had an amazing week.
Ten Things To Quicken the Heart
10) 5 cups of coffee from 5 different coffee shops in 3 hours in Cape Town
9) being asked if i worked at the Game Reserve
8) African tuxedo's (khaki on khaki... on khaki)
7)Uncertainty
6) Kaitlyn's affinity for my little sisters... and the random things she taught them
5) the sleeper bus from Cape Town to Bloemfontein
4) did i mention uncertainty?
3) my family comes in ONE MONTH
2) air, wind, water, and crossword puzzles
1) limericks
miss you all.
this past week is a blur. an amazing, time warp, alternate reality blur in which i took approxamatly 13 baths, at at lord knows how many all you can eat buffets, took a safari tour that had a "champagne interlude," travelled to the end of the world, swam in the Indian Ocean (partially) clothes, rode on an AIRPLANE, ate ice cream, and was tormented by people who i love. i love kaitlyn and vito bagnato. all in all, it was a magical time warp away from reality. My last vacation I felt guilty about being back in humanity, being a glutton and living frivoulously. This vacation, i swam in frivolity and enjoyed it immensely. I had forgotten how normal it was to live... normally. After I left vito and kay at the airport, i went into Cape Town, bought a minidress i will probably never be able to wear in Lesotho, bought some oversize sunglasses, and walked around town feeling the air on my legs. It was nice to just fit in. Not to be singled out for being white, or being a female, and not getting any odd looks. People asked me for directions, complimented my dress, treated me like a normal human being who belongs in a civilized world. And i soaked it up. I miss cities. I miss the feel of them, the bustle, the activity, the possibility of meeting a new person on every street corner.
I wonder what i am doing here. My heart feels heavy because there has been a change in my existance. A change in who I thought I could trust and who I thought cared about me. And there is so much uncertainty. I want to live and breathe and work and find my balance. But its difficult. My family comes in a month and I cant wait to see them but i just know it will make me want to come home. I wish I could find my place here already.
There is so much to look forward to the next few moths that I know they are going to fly by. But I am ready for something constant. Something (or someone) I know I can rely on. If that is a possibility...
Ok, well. Kaitlyn and Vito: well done.
i had an amazing week.
Ten Things To Quicken the Heart
10) 5 cups of coffee from 5 different coffee shops in 3 hours in Cape Town
9) being asked if i worked at the Game Reserve
8) African tuxedo's (khaki on khaki... on khaki)
7)Uncertainty
6) Kaitlyn's affinity for my little sisters... and the random things she taught them
5) the sleeper bus from Cape Town to Bloemfontein
4) did i mention uncertainty?
3) my family comes in ONE MONTH
2) air, wind, water, and crossword puzzles
1) limericks
miss you all.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Disco Naps are for sissies
Ten Things To Quicken The Hearts of Kaitlyn and Victoria
10) Paved roads
9) copulating penguins
8) Pocahontassing into a 40 foot waterfall next to an overzealous bald hotel manager named Quincent
7) beating the entire Bagnato clan + Andre 3000 mercilessly at darts
6) Kaitlyns horrible taste in boyfriends.
5) Savannah Lights at the highest bar in Africa
4) being told that "American girls love hot chocolate"
3) Having Vito try to straighen out our lives.
2) Being told that we have been in Africa too long.
1) SPOONING EACH OTHER.
I love the Bagnato's.
10) Paved roads
9) copulating penguins
8) Pocahontassing into a 40 foot waterfall next to an overzealous bald hotel manager named Quincent
7) beating the entire Bagnato clan + Andre 3000 mercilessly at darts
6) Kaitlyns horrible taste in boyfriends.
5) Savannah Lights at the highest bar in Africa
4) being told that "American girls love hot chocolate"
3) Having Vito try to straighen out our lives.
2) Being told that we have been in Africa too long.
1) SPOONING EACH OTHER.
I love the Bagnato's.
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