December 1, 2007

Chapter 1: Land of LeatherHoly smokes. I need to decrease my heart rate. Its been one week ofliving in the village, and we hav been in the city for 2 hours and ifeel like my pulse has gon through a blender and then multiplied by 2million. Speaking of two million, there are approximatly that numberof people lined up outside of the bank right now because it is thefirst of the month... payday suckas. Although i have no idea wheretheir incomes are from considering the number one economy ismarijuanna. no kidding. and water.Its about 82 degrees outside and ive counted 37 people this morningwearng leather jackets and ski caps. We have changed the nationalanthem to "Lesotho... land of ski caps and leather jackets" (it soundsa lot better with a collection of sopranos)Chapter 2: Meet the Shalley'sI never realized what a sissy baby I am until i had to cut theunbilical chord of my surrogate Basotho mother (M'e Mamothe... a largeand voluptuous Basotho dream/peace corps language trainer who coddlesme in her mountains) as she handed me off to my new family. Holy s.They handed me 8 buckets (as you will find out later come in VERYHANDY but not for the reasons expected), gave me a new name (Ausi MphoShalley... ausi means sister, mpho means Gift. Another volunteer wasgiven the name Dimpho... "many gifts" she is my enemy.) Anyways soafter watching a extravaganza of 16 half naked 12 year olds wearingonly a grass skirt and bottle caps dance for an hour... they took meto my new home. My dad worked in south africa in the mines until 1987when he was injured and he has a prosthetic leg now, and just kindawalks around all day. my mom doesnt speak a word of english, and cutstrees...sometimes. vague. i have like 7 brothers and cousins and theirnames are longer then the roman empire.Chapter 3: AztecapalooozaI live in a round hut with a thatch roof. It is heaven. It is the
coolest thing i have ever seen. I have no electiricty or runningwater, but i have never been happier. Everything is so functional. Ihave a gas burning stove and a parafin lamp and a table. The familycooked for me all last week, after the Peace Corps gave them a"suggested menu" of crap like beans and mayonaise. And boiled eggs.Chapter 4: This All sounded a lot better in my headSome quick stories... my sister is a 24 year old sassypot who has twoboyfriends, both who work at the Shopright... on works in the morningand one in the evening. Sly. Anyways, she lets me read her textmessages and one of them was "Luv, tke me 2 luvland, pop 2.. me+ u.swt drmz" Most of them she has no clue what they mean, but she hasbeen letting me text him and man, is it fun to come up with 700 waysto say "will u b my #1 boo?"Women and men are NOT friends here in our lovely country. I am in thevillage with 11 volulnteers, ten girls one guy. The other night Benand i went for an a-d-v-en-t-u-r-e to see his "foxy love interest"after dark.. (walking after dark, a huge no no) and got back about 10,which is about 2 oclock in the morning to basotho. when i was at thepayphone yesterday, the man, who i had never seen before looked at mevery seriously and said in perfect english "Ausi Mpho. It is notappropriate for you and Abuti Ben to be walking around at night. I sawyou."Moral of the story, these people know EVERYTHING that we do. We arenot to conspicous... (being white and all) and so if i forget to tiemy shoe, the chief will make a special announcement at the end of theday to tell everyone the name, make and model of said untied shoe.this may sound like an exaggeration. its not.Chapter 5: The Man and the MountainThere is an "initiation school" on top of the mountain where 18 yearold boys learn "secrets" and are circumsized. They told us if we go up
there we will be captured. So if you dont hear from me next week... Iwas feeling too adventurous.Chapter 6:Wrap uptop five facts for the week1) Basotho are OCD about cleaning. i have to sweep, mop, and wax myfloor 4 times a week.2) there are 19 children who have become my posse and they follow mearound everywhere and do handstands outside of my roundavel until icome out. and then they shout the months of the year at me.ehh, thats enough for nowI miss you all. GIve me updates about your lifedid i tell you there have been 2 hail storms this week??? its 80degrees ouside.LOVEausi mpho shalleyps kylie, will you send this to twongs? and i am still in shock overbo. thats sacreligious.